The Swan

Contrary to popular belief,

I do not paddle furiously

Beneath the surface!!

What you see is what you get.

An elegant bird,

Seemingly, with all the time in the world,

That glides effortlessly,

Across the water,

With great economy of movement.

© Caro Ness 2015


This one is for Anita:

My wife makes a mean chilli jam,

To take to the market in Ham,*

She also makes pickle,

My tastebuds to tickle.

I confess I’m a fan, yes I am!

This limerick is for Branston:

I do love a nice jar of Brantston,
It’s so moorish, I can’t keep my pants on!
I eat every bit,
So my zip goes for six,
And I need hoisting in with a stancheon.

© Caro Ness 2015

* this is artistic licence at work, because we actually go to Crystal Palace Food Market

Photo: Karen Jones  

Dog Tired

OK, yes, I’m a tired pup,

My reserves of energy are all used up.

I found this peaceful, soft sandpit,                          

And so I thought I’d stop and rest a bit.

I’m tired out, I’m all done in,

Please wake me up with my dindins.

 © Caro Ness 2015

The Heckle

It was the first time I killed a man. 

Not literally, but metaphorically.

Dead in the water,

Searching for a laugh,

A silent room,

Suicide to a comedian.

I heckled,

It was a good heckle,


Side-splittingly so.

And everyone turned 

To look at me,

Applaud me,

Forgetting him.

I killed bad comedy,

And a bad comedian 


© Caro Ness 2015


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